The Shredded Schrader

There is this awful stretch in front of Alewife where motorists rejoice in abusing the bicycle lane. I have gotten into arguments with motorists over this before. Some times the exchange is openly verbal as I wheel up to their open window to have a chat with them about safety, and some… slightly more obscure. My most recent experience leans towards the latter. The crime deserved something special.

I was heading home from work driving Nostrildamus, The Slothful (an abandoned bicycle from the 80s that I recently liberated and restored), when the motorsite in front of me came to a sudden stop in the bike lane, threw on her hazards, and ran into the daycare, pausing momentarily to glance around guiltily. I may have been seen, but I didn’t care.

If this was an emergency, if she was seeking help for problems with her auto-mobile (they are especially susceptible to these) she did the right thing by pulling over in the manner she did. In emergencies, it is entirely acceptable to pull to the side of the foremost right lane. The bike lane is a lane like any other, except with certain restrictions vetoed in certain situations such as these. However, this incident didn’t wasn’t in that sort of situation. As I would soon observe, she was just going into the building to retrieve her snot-nosed kid.

After figuring out what she was up to, I pulled to the side of the road and rummaged through my backpack for pencil and paper. Soon after producing them I had written an informative, albeit potentially hopefully disturbing note. It read as follows…

Bicycle lanes are for bicycles, not for parking.

You endanger the safety of cyclists.

You have been reported.

I slipped it under her wind-shield wiper and hid behind a pole, awaiting her return. After all, I could not categorize this post as Journalism if I bailed before I had the whole story! Even if I was the one making the news…..

After a considerable stretch of time she returned to the car with her kid. On her way to her side of the care she froze as her eyes met the note. As she picked it up I declared victory and road away in search of another adventure. (As a side note, I found it. I can’t write about it here, so ask me in person).

What sort of example is that for your kid? Jeez.

I wrote down her license plate number for my personal records. I struggled with myself a great deal over whether or not I should share it. At last I decided against it, choosing instead to file it away in a database somewhere. I will keep an eye out for her to see if she becomes a repeat offender. Picking up her kid from daycare is probably a regular event. Next week I will see if her antics are also a regular event.

Solidarity my fellow cyclists! Bike on.
~ Danimal ~

PS.
For the sake of your amusement I should note that the notice was printed on the back of a recycled article on the environmental sustainability of beer production. Coincidentally, my environmentalism has also been satisfied. Hail Eris!

Every Thursday night a group of my friends get together for a night of geeky wonderment. Unfortunately, they gather on Cape Cod, hereto blacking me from partaking except on rare occasions. And on those rare occasions I’ve had to rely on wasteful forms of transportation.  Well, I will have not of that! I am embracing Biketarianism and driving there on my bike.

The problem is that I am miserably out of shape and will have to aright that before I continue… I plan to start going home “the long way” from work. As long a way as I can stomach.

Wish me luck in my training!

View the map…

Instead of saying I ride my bike I usually opt to say I drive my bike. This seems to throw people off and push them to “correct me.” No, no, no; The Motorist rides, we’re the ones who drive. Saying we “ride” marginalizes our efforts.

To drive is “to impart a forward motion to by physical force.” The Motorist doesn’t do that; their motors do. They simply sit there at most “directing” as they pollute, endanger cyclists, and disable themselves. Sounds a bit like “riding,” to me. Oh, the wreckful laziness of the motorist!

On the other hand, cyclists work to propel themselves. Not only are they directing, but they are physically providing the input energy responsible for propelling their vehicle forward.

And a reminder while I’m on my soap box; our ships are both technically and legally vehicles.

Solidarity!

Bipedatarianism: The exclusion of motor-vehicles as a means of transportation.

Biketarianism: A bipedatarian who uses bicycles as their primary means of transportation.

Between our legs is placed a power greater than their crowded roads.
Greater than a hundred motors magnified a thousand fold.
We will bring to birth a new world on the pavement of the old.
For the union makes us strong

While not all MBTA drivers make a game of running red lights, even a single driver poses a risk to our lives and is something worth speaking up about.

Here’s the cool part;  the MBTA will listen.

If you see dangerous and/or illegal activity conducted by an MBTA driver and you would like such actions to end, follow these steps.

1. Make note of the time, place, route, bus number, and incident
2. Call (617) 222-3200 with the information at the ready
3. Courteously provide the information they request
4. When the time comes, ask for a response
5. Share your experiences along with any email address or numbers you may obtain.